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The Mom Conference is over and I understand if some of you may not be able to watch the full presentations due to limited time.
I myself only managed to watch 4 of them so far (in between cooking, folding laundry, and taking care of the kids, lol) but I managed to write down some take-home points from them (scroll down below to read mine).
However, there's a good surprise for you!
The Mom Conference organizer will choose the top 5 presenters (based on participants' choice) and feature them during the Encore Day (24 October 2017 EST).
So yes, you still have one more last chance to watch the presentations.
If you haven't registered yourself yet, please do so in this registration link (the sooner the better so that you can participate in choosing who's gonna be featured during the Encore Day).Alternatively, if you feel that you want to watch ALL of the presentations on your own pace ( with lifetime access), you can grab the conference recording package (which includes video/audio recordings, viewing guides and other awesome bonuses).
I'll share more details about the package right below my take-home points from the conference.
So here are my take-home points... Enjoy!
(this post may contain affiliate links)
Heather shares some tips to make sleep training more manageable, especially for new parents.
1. Lower down your expectations. Don't expect your newborn to sleep through the night very soon. There are times when you need to be waking up at night, feeding them, making sure they have adequate calory intake before you can start thinking about sleep training.
2. Keep a sleep log. Watch the wake up and sleep window for your baby. Chances are newborns are ready to sleep again after they are awake for about 1 hour. If you miss this, they may become overtired, making harder for them to fall asleep and stay asleep.
PS: Heather includes useful worksheets about typical wake up window for babies from newborn to in the premium package.
3. Don’t start sleep training too early, else it will result in frustration not only for babies but also for the parents.
In average, 22 weeks is a good starting point to have a good sleep routine. If the baby is not ready for sleep coaching, you can always do sleep shaping whereby you pay attentions to sleep routine, the environment (make sure it is supportive for baby sleep - no bright light etc)
4. Babies’ personality will affect what kind of sleep training method works for him/ her. Babies who love structured environments will be fine with cry-it-out method while others who are cuddlers will need to have more reassurance and gradual transition.
5. For gentle sleep training, check out sleep shuffle method by Kim West.
Personal note: I have and read this book from cover to cover, it’s a great book, but I still failed because I was doing it alone, feeling not confident and mostly inconsistent - and so the next point).
6. Be consistent. Nothing worse than inconsistency because your baby will be confused on what can be done and what cannot be done.
Yes it is hard and requires sometime, but doable.
Final action guide for her talk: there are many options for sleep training, so find a method that works best for your family. Whatever you decide to do, be consistent. Remember that there's always steps that you can do to move forward in this process.
7. How to finish dinner on time with a lot of kids: bulk prepare, whether you are planning the menu ahead, make a double batch so that you can save one for other day or next week, prepare all the veggies one week in advance, etc.
Personal note: I personally already did some of these and it felt amazing. Not only it minimizes the amount of time needed during the day to day meal prep itself, the best thing is I can allocate that extra time to do something else more important, like focusing on my kids, etc.
8. Don’t be afraid / ashamed to ask or hire more help.
This... this is very true. and I admit guilty wanting to do all the things by myself.
But over the time, I let it go (though I’m still Super perfectionist by nature). I ask my kids and husband a lot every single day.
If hiring help is not affordable, you can swap help with neighbours / friends. E.g. baby sitting swap when you need to go for errands, etc.
9. For moms with babies
- Bottle-feeding tips: don’t make your baby getting used with warmed bottle, so that those midnight feedings do not feel like a torture.
- Diapering / potty training tips: layer two bed sheets with a waterproof pad in between for your baby's bed.
Very useful if your baby wakes up in the middle of the night with blown up diaper and stained all over your sheet. Just peel the top sheet and pad and you are done with the sheet. Nothing worse than having to change sheet at midnight when all you want is to have a good sleep!
10. Carve some time for friendship
Girlfriends can understand you the way differently from how your husband does.
It’s even better if your friends have similarities, such as both of you having babies, so that you can totally relate to each other, just asking question if this kind of baby thing is normal, or expressing worries. Girls love to do that, right =).
11. Bed time routine
- Have a specific routine to go through with your kids every bedtime
- If you are too tired to read for your kids (Vanessa admitted this), make use of audio books.
Final action guide: find a mom hack that saves you time and stress, such as double the meal when cooking or wash your hair less often.
I wish the interview with Vanessa is longer (it’s only 30+ minutes, but if you need more hacks, you can read her bestselling book: Real Moms, Real Hacks - 107 Parent-tested Tips to Save You Time, Money and Sanity.)
Which One Wins, Motherhood or Marriage by Ramona Zabriskie (www.WifeForLifeUniversity.com)
Side history: Ramona had several children closely spaced (the first one was severely disabled) and in the early years of her marriage, she struggled to take care of her children alone. She expected her husband to offer help (but like most women do, she didn't communicate it clearly). She's ready to file a divorce to her husband when finally she found a way to strengthen her marriage back.
12. The way we communicate with our husband can make or break our relationship in the long run.
Ramona talked about how men have several types of fears and sometimes, the way we talk to them can bring out those fears.
Ramona addressed this ‘common negative way of communicating‘ that women like to do when we are under stress as ‘crazy ladies’.
There are 5 types of crazy ladies, such as Shamely, Stupidia, Depressa, Irreleva and Betraya and each of them is hurting the man in some way.
For example: A shamely would say (when her husband just came back), "Oh my gosh.., where have you been, I really needed you 30 minutes ago.." (writing is simply cannot measure up with Ramona's complete expression in her presentation).
But, in this example here, these simple phrases could have triggered your husband's fear of disappointment (or that he feels that he does not measure up or he's failing, while failure for a man is not an option).
Other fears that man can feel: stupidia (initiates fear of being exploited) or irreleva (initiates fear of being excluded from the family by preventing him from offering help, because you feel like you can do everything by yourself).
Seriously, when Ramona gave examples on how these crazy ladies talk, I could flash back a few times I did the same mistake to my husband!
13. Ramona even gave specific examples how to ask help from your husband, say during the witching hour when he is finally home from work. How to initiate asking for help, how to specifically ask what kind of help you need and how you end the request with appreciation of his help.
14. Importance of self-care for moms
But how can we be our best selves and communicate well with our man if we feel exhausted all day?
Make sure to take care of yourself.
The final action guide for her talk: to find 10-20 delights that you can do daily to charge up yourself and commit to do at least 3 every day. Take charge over your own happiness so that your husband can top you off and so that you have room to be generous on how you interact with him.
Dr Laura is my favorite speaker since The Mom Conference last year.
She's an advocate of peaceful parenting by maintaining close connection with each child and do emotional-coaching so that the child understands that having a negative feeling is totally fine, it's just we need to learn on how to manage it properly so that it won't blow out as a big tantrum.
15. As to dealing with sibling rivalry, sometimes we as parents have contributed on the reasons why kids keep fighting or competing towards each other.
Some of the reasons is labeling or comparing between kids, or taking one side when the children fight.
16. Kids need to be heard, and we need to be calm enough when dealing with them. Offer your empathy, listen what's happening from their point of view, and admit their feelings and at the same time set the limit on what they can do.
I love that Dr Laura gave a lot of practical examples on the 'phrases' to use in this situation.
Something like "It's hard when your sister broke your tower, I can understand that you are really mad. You can always tell her that you feel sad about it... and we don't hit each other'.
17. Importance of special time with each child.
Something that I personally ponder is that Dr Laura suggested to have special time with each of the children, whereby you focus your mind totally to him / her (no distraction whatsoever, no phone). This will fill up their 'love bucket' and they will feel secured that no matter what, they are special to you.
When the kids already feel secure, they will involved in less fighting with other siblings to get your attention.
18. If you are welcoming a new baby, Dr Laura discusses a lot more details on how to prepare the older sibling (since pregnancy up until your baby is 1 year old) in her book: Peaceful Parents, Happy Siblings (also recommended is her best seller: Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids)
Final action guide: we can do things unintentionally to create more sibling rivalry. One of them is labeling our kids. When you notice a difference between them, stop, take a deep breath and remind yourself that they are all different kids with different strengths.
I hope these take-away points are useful for you. But to be honest, I feel that I need to re-watch the presentation again to sink all the new knowledge deeper.
How do I feel about The Mom Conference?
Just like last year, even after watching only these 4 presentations, I felt empowered to make positive changes in my family.
Just sharing, a friend of mine broke down in tears watching one of the parenting talk (by Abigail Wald), realizing how wrong her parenting approach so far with her son. You can read more about her feeling here.
And let me tell you, a lot of moms participating in the conference are feeling the same. We want to be a better mom, a better parent, a better spouse, a better individual.
What about you?
Do you want to start making impact to your family, just like me and other moms out there?
If you feel the same, I recommend you to get the Conference Recording Package, so that you can re-watch, write down specific notes and take specific actions from the conference.
There are two packages you can consider:
- Basic package ($67) includes 20 video / audio recordings plus the viewing guides, PLUS top 5 presentations from The Mom Conference 2016.
- Premium package ($97) includes those covered in basic packages PLUS action guides and 20 extra bonuses from the presenters (worksheets, e-books, audio guide, and even an opportunity to have 30-min parenting consultation!)
Now, let me tell you that this price is a steal.
Just to let you know, a typical video training (lasting ~1 hour) can cost $10. And here, for $67 you get 25 video presentations (that means less than $3 each!)
The premium package is even better, because it gives even more bonuses. FYI, one e-book inside the bonuses is regularly priced for $10 (I know because I already bought it before) and now you get it at a huge discount!
So, if you have been thinking to grab the Conference Recording Package, this is the right time to do that.
And one more thing, do note that this pricing is only good until 24th October 2017 midnight EST.
After that, the prices will go up to $97 (basic) and $127 (premium) for another 2 days.
Remember, the package pricing deal ends on Tuesday 24th midnight EST. Hurry and grab your package before it disappears.